i don't know what i'm looking for but i know i can't find it here. malaysia is okay in small doses but it's a little over a week and i want to leave. not my family but the place just isn't right for me. the trouble with moving around so much is that you don't really know where you belong anymore. sometimes i feel like i am different fragments. pieces that fit into different lives, but as a whole i belong no where in particular.
* * *
the cycle is the same at "home". i can't sleep till late and even when i sleep i can't get restful sleep. i waste the day around bored despite having tons of things that i could be doing. malaysia unmotivates me and erases every good habit i've honed. maybe i don't know where i belong but i definitely know its not here. it never was and it never will be.

things that are going to keep me going till wednesday

1. target shopping with tintin
2. christmas shopping with didi
3. sleeeeep
4. partying with jp
5. house season 3
6. sitting by the pool

ewww

The guy sitting across from me in the library has a serious case of "yellow fever". He's hella flirting with the two fobbiest of fobs in the library. This really reminds me of sketchy white guys in china sketching on local girls.

okay i'm so mean. but their sketching/giggling is distracting me from writing my essay.

There is something seriously wrong with me i've LOST more things this quarter than I've ever lost in my life. Things that I've lost:
1. ralph lauren sunglasses... lost forever :(
2. aviators... twice (and found twice)
3. proxy library card and photo copy card
4. ID card (twice and found twice luckily)
5. keys (multiple times and found multiple times)
6. black sweater (took a day to realize i lost it, and then a day to remember where i had left it, and then another day to get the courage to go and get it... SIGH)
7. dragon fly earring (which i've had for four years and never taken off :( )
8. Phone (found)
9. star/heart earring

SAD SAD SAD SAD SAD for all the things lost and never found... and the STRESS of losing things that aren't found.

tell me not to stress about that and trust me... i won't. i have better things to stress about, seriously.

like....
FINALS and my increasing addiction to aim and facebook
my bio essays (minimum of 21 pages --3 essays-- for a 3 unit class!!!)
sleep deprivation
and other stuff which is legitimately so serious i can't even talk about it to anyone. stress STRESS stress STRESS.

actually right now i'm not that stressed. i wonder why...?