three things that I would wish for
1. the ability to control the way i feel
i wish i could make myself like someone or not like someone just like that. it's kind of calculating and cold and emotionless but that would make life so much easier. imagine... he checks all the right boxes - yes i like you. perfect. uncomplicated. simple. yes i like this.
2. knowing what i want
what's worse than not getting what you want? not knowing what you want. i don't mean like i want an ice cream, or i want an i-phone. but i want to know what i want that would make me happy.
3. unlimited sleep time
seriously i never get enough sleep. i don't know why i choose to sleep later just to watch tv. sleep trumps everything. being able to fall asleep when you want would be pretty sweet for a occasional insomniac like myself too. picture this. lying wide awake at 8:30am this morning. the one day this week that I can actually sleep in.
now i need to go find a genie. or some sort of mind control technique. whichever is easiest.
1 comment:
Yeah I wish I could have number one... but dont EVER go there. I had a wonderful, cute, pretty, nice girl who really liked me, we started going out together, it started as casual sex... but then as my feelings for her went downwards, hers went upwards and she liked me more....
I tried to hang on, thinking that the uneasy feelings will pass, and that i needed time to get used to her then to like her (she's quite different... different country) then at some point, I had to leave the country, and we were talking, she said she was missing me too much and getting drunk because of that... and then... some circuit breaker tripped in my brain and I couldnt handle being fake anymore, and I hurt her, very bad, at the worst moment ever...
I think she'll survive, hopefully without emotional scars. But advice to everyone, dont ever try to play that game, you'll end up hurting the person you wanted to please, and find yourself with an unlimited supply of guilt...
Just take ur courage in your hands, always be frank with her, and always do what's best for you too...even if it means both finding yourself alone again... and who knows, you might stay friends or even start having feelings later. But dont try to force yourself, because your true nature will come back with a vengeance.
Be safe
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